Disclaimer:  All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real businesses, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Failure is a key part of success, or at least an important step on the road to becoming successful. When the still-young search industry witnesses a failure of any kind, it seems to revel in exploiting the collapse for personal gain, personal indulgence and the ability to say, “I told you so.”

Without getting into names and details that will only initiate more drama and, dare I say, schadenfreude, I’ve noticed an overabundance of loony behavior in the search business of late, mainly in the realm of how failure is depicted and exploited.

I have extensive experience in this arena — so, if you’ll indulge me, here’s my unsolicited advice on how to handle tough situations and what it takes to pick yourself (and those around you) up after falling.

Sour Grapes Sourcing

I check in from time to time on start-ups, particularly in the agency world, and I’m often called upon to offer advice to them. The life phase arch associated with launch, hype and the seemingly inevitable implosion has become so common, its cliché. Here’s how it goes:

1. Company launch, lots of press releases, the “super firm” is born
2. Big parties are thrown, lots of money spent
3. Success is positioned throughout the business with sponsorships and speaking engagements
4. A culture is born, young professionals are enthralled
5. Information begins to leak on the demise, 15 minutes of disaster fame begins, and those not throwing rocks are “super concerned” about the people involved

The reason people seem to love jumping on the bashing bandwagon has more to do with the very natural human desire for revenge. By the time the “super firm” fails, industry colleagues have spent months or even years choking on countless nauseating press releases and blog posts about just how wonderful this company is and how they are doing it better than everyone else.

All Good Intentions

In the most recent editions of failure, how to not execute and ultimately, how to make a self-indulgent exit, I am reminded of James Boswell’s Life of Samuel Johnson:

“Patriotism having become one of our topicks, Johnson suddenly uttered, in a strong determined tone, an apophthegm, at which many will start: ‘Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.’ But let it be considered that he did not mean a real and generous love of our country, but that pretended patriotism which so many, in all ages and countries, have made a cloak of self-interest.’ (Wikiquote)

I’ve seen some real doozies in my time, but today’s socially enriched world, enhanced by deep indexing and no delete button search engines, makes any failure play out in public ways which were previously unimaginable. You have to hear about it on LinkedIn, Facebook and everywhere else — such is the way of the world, and you can’t change our broadcast-it-everywhere culture. But, what I’ve found particularly sad about it is how people choose to insert themselves into the conversation.

Please file the following under bad behavior:

1. Blog posts offering to “help” underprivileged, suddenly underemployed people and track every available job acting as the personal placement specialist
2. Inserting into a comment thread a description of how your competing company (based in Podunk, Idaho) really takes care of its people so if anyone wants a job from the failing company (based in Gnobot, Alaska), you should really reach out
3. Taking the opportunity to insert yourself into a social discussion thread expressing your “concern” while casually mentioning the amazing work your company did for the failing company

Number 1 paints you as the concerned humanitarian. Number 2 is blatant self promotion and “man down kickage.” And number 3, well…number 3 is just sad display of desperate attention grabbing.

Heal Thyselves

New generation “senior managers” should consider leaving the indulgent peanut gallery stuff behind. All the finger pointing and melodrama serves no one. The junior employees so eagerly recruited into the super firm are going to find jobs; it’s not hard to find digital marketing jobs. Seems to me if anyone was in the slightest bit actually worried about them, the last possible way I’d see of expressing concern is through self-indulgent blog posts whining about what could have been and how painful it is to leave.

I’ve looked over junior employee comments left to be judged on the social stage; it sounds to me that many of them believed the hype that was being spewed unto them. Will they be able to approach the next job with as much enthusiasm? Will you? How will you march into the next gig now, carrying the knowledge (and perhaps some of the financial debt) of how badly something like this can go wrong? Will you do it again? Will you be as driven to be successful?

Will you measure success by the number of press releases you write in a short a time? How about how many panels you spoke on at easily forgotten tradeshows? Will you spend some time trying to understand what went wrong, isolate it, then come back and give it another try?

Perhaps the next one (or the one after that) will go better. If you can power through your failures and learn from them without jading yourself to the point of hopelessness – if you can keep working at it until you get it right — then you may have something. Until then, cut the self-indulgent crap and get back to work.

Feature roll-outs with APIs and a little bit of insanity in trying to get your numbers to match up are all necessary bumps on the road to truly optimizing. This yields the way for Google (and subsequently, every publisher) to ultimately optimize on a person-by-person basis. Campaigns will be customized not just by device, but by the very essence of what makes us solid, human targets for advertisers.

Device Vs. People Targeting

Once we get beyond the tactical components, like shifts in ad formats, we can look to a brighter future in a more efficient, sponsored digital communications environment.

One of the core pain points in moving from device to people targeting is the inevitable conversation with upper management communicating the contradictory marketing tactics the Enhanced environment has forced upon us. Like Google+ or the ever-changing technical guidelines for healthy SEO, we have little choice in implementing Enhanced tactics. Yet, we’ve been programming marketers to believe that device-centered approaches in communicating messaging and seeking desired actions was the best marketing practice.

People-Centric Focus

Simply abandoning a device-centric approach would be irresponsible, as it has been proven that these tactics are effective. Generally speaking, losing money while your media vendor tries to sort out its ad management platform doesn’t excite any of the CMOs I know. Dismantling or configuring existing technology to accommodate the people-centric focus is going to take time.

Shifting strategy is an enormous, painful undertaking, but changing tactics is a demanding and necessary task in the online marketing universe. A solid, long-term strategic framework for a brand lies in communicating a message that provides a creative experience on a personal level. Publishers aim to net premium prices for ad inventory, and more effective, timelier ad consumption experiences for people will get them there.

A people-centric approach is the best way to do that. The only questions lie in the timing of adoption, stability of the product road map and Google’s ability to keep marketers informed about the decisions they will have to make. Failure in this effort, I fear, will have big consequences.

As we absorb and implement the road map and evolve our tactics to become more people focused, Google will no longer be so reliant on search ad revenue, and we’ll have a truer picture of how our target customers take the actions we desire.

I get a sense from talking to brands and publishers selling ad inventory that we all want the same things. However you might feel about migrating tactics, Google’s enhanced tides will help a lot of ships out of some dangerous shallow water.

Content Consumption Experience Dilemma

A consistent content consumption experience for me would be delivering the same experience as I move between environments: automotive, home, office and anywhere else I go.

Right now, we have multiple devices; tomorrow, we may still have multiple devices, but we’ll have a consistent experience while we move through each environment. Ultimately, we’ll have better means to attribute the path to desired action in our marketing efforts.

Right now, we don’t have people — we have devices. It’s baffling to me that with all the data we are getting, we don’t seem to be getting the right data — but, I have high hopes.

Marketers have been a little too quick to label people as “android” or “apple” by observing simple reactive analysis of behavior based on imperfect data coming from imperfect devices on imperfect platforms. For example, if purchase incidents are higher for a particular product, like a luxury brand or considered purchase, it’s easy to assume that Apple people buy more because they are savvier than say, your average Galaxy Tab user. Well, that’s not entirely true since apps, sites, landing pages and ads appear and function differently on both devices. The Android user may be moving to a bigger screen, better text input platform or device he trusts more, like his keyboard-enabled device.

I’d love to be able to move from room to room with a consistent experience without logging into multiple devices and worrying about whether or not my identity is safe on this OS or experiencing spotty coverage on a device or driving myself crazy trying to orient a screen by constantly adjusting it.

The people-targeting strategy also supports the simple, unavoidable, harsh truth that devices fail, apps function imperfectly and multi-device (or omni-channel, if you are playing along with the buzzword bingo home game) consumption still isn’t as reliable as it should be.

When I turn on my television, I push a button, and 99.9% of the time when I select a channel, it goes there. That’s all I want from my content-consumption devices. Once we have a consistent experience, we’ll have a better way to give people what they want and advertisers what they need.

Everyone in the digital marketing business knows it sucks, and efforts to turn the place into Google have yet to achieve fruition. Sure, the stock got a bump when Marissa came in, but that’s largely due to her status as one of the original Googlers.

Home page redesign and human resource parlor tricks like that free lunch thing aside, Yahoo’s corporate culture is akin to the Balboa camp right after Mr. T pounded the stallion into submission in Rocky 3.

Nothing To See Here

They need to turn this ship around and the latest memo (on home workers) was pure marketing communications genius, right out of the brilliant Google public relations playbook.

The internal email, which may as well had been marked “Confidential: Do NOT forward to Kara Swisher,” and it’s off to the races with major media coverage.

Whoever leaked that memo did Yahoo a huge favor. The media was covering the insensitive “let them eat cake Mommy-ing” and the role of telecommuting in the workplace instead of just how bad things are at Yahoo. Like I said, pure genius.

Instead of focusing on how it’s darn near impossible to get a Yahoo rep on the phone to discuss anything other than how much they hate their jobs, the media coverage focused attention on telecommuting,  commuting’s impact on fuel consumption and how Marissa has lost touch with the common (wo)man.

Moving Chess Pieces Across The Board

Marissa hasn’t lost touch with anything; she’s moving chess pieces around the board while the world thinks she’s moving the deck chairs around the Titanic. One piece I read in a national publication mentioned her model-like appearance and correlated it to her overall acceptance as a leader. As long as they aren’t talking about how bad it is at Yahoo, I call that a successful execution.

No sane male journalist would comment on the whole “woman in charge,” or worse, “mom” discussion, and risk being instantly branded a misogynist — because we didn’t have moms and therefore can’t comment — so that takes care of more or less half of the press who would be complaining; again, unadulterated genius.

You see kids, the whole WFH WTF press mishigas is just about getting rid of the people who aren’t carrying their weight. For those folks still earning their keep and who still want to work from home, I wouldn’t worry. Once Yahoo drops the slackers, I’d wager a fair amount of money they’ll re-institute a policy offering a bit more freedom to those who “deserve” it.

Why all the memos? Well, let’s just say the State of California, and many others Yahoo operates in, don’t make it easy to cut a lot of people loose without it costing them a ton of money. So, they make the undesirables miserable enough to quit, then keep the good people, and bang… shareholder value goes up. Everybody wins! Well, not everybody.

Why From HR?

My only gripe with the leaked memo was that it came from some nudnik in human resources instead of Yahoo’s fearless leader. Over the last decade or so I’ve noticed HR moving from a care- or advocacy-driven profession to something more akin to a terrorist vocation. They use fear to motivate decision makers into making gaffes like the one we saw last week, in which the company’s CEO ends up looking like a feckless pawn instead of a strong leader.

Would the press coverage have been different if it had come from the CEO’s office? I think so. The conversation would have moved much more quickly to the other topics. The “let them eat cake” perception of Marissa’s attitude toward parenting and all the telecommuting banter was really just icing on a much larger pastry. Enjoy your cake.

Now that marketers have concluded this is a worthwhile investment, they’re doling out the cash. At least, they’re supposed to be. While Google’s Q4 earnings beat Wall Street estimates, we haven’t seen a Google Shopping line item to see if this was a boost to the bottom line. Based on several conversations I’ve had with marketers, Shopping may not have brought in revenue like Google hoped.

Google Shopping Is A Must

I’ve been fortunate enough to spend the past few weeks in the company of a few senior brand managers. The overwhelming consensus among retail brands was that they had to invest in Shopping results. So they simply did the easy thing, and shifted (up to) 25 percent of their paid search budgets to shopping. For Google, this is a case of robbing from Peter to pay Paul.

Diverting money from one search channel to another is sound marketing strategy, especially if you haven’t budgeted for a new channel. As one person confided, shifting money out of paid search may be one of the dumbest things he’s done, but he had no choice because competitors were doing the same thing.

While Shopping results were successful at driving conversions (hence the outcry when they switched to a paid format), they do not have a long history of returning the investment into the paid units, an important distinction.

Brands Shift Budget To Shopping

Brand managers have their search budgets, and the very sophisticated ones can forecast conversions on a monthly basis. Now, there’s a panic rush to the shopping results, and CMOs can’t be left out. The easy solution is to allot the same amount of budget to line item Google, and divert some to the new tool to keep up with the Joneses. That should be the biggest of Google’s worries right now, as it’s potentially dangerous.

Philosophically, paying is a good idea for advertisers. But Google’s issue is that there’s no proof in the pudding that Shopping generates more revenue. The Q4 earnings didn’t show a boost in revenue caused specifically by shopping, and that’s telling. If the end of the year is about one thing, well, it’s shopping. It’s also the period when Google began charging for shopping placements, and I know from multiple conversations that no one chose to ignore the program when it made the jump.

The onus is now firmly on Google to demonstrate that Shopping results deserve more investment. As nearly everyone I spoke with attests, there is no decision-making process about buying Google Shopping. If you’re in retail or e-commerce, you have to do it, full stop. Great news, except for the fact that no one bothered to up the total amount of money they were sending to Google.

So now, Google is in relatively unfamiliar territory, forced to prove the value of a new product. Google’s goal is the same as every other ad tech vendor: bleed money out of a brand budget that was previously earmarked to go elsewhere, whether its TV, print, or radio. They’ve been remarkably successful building a business around search, and now they need this Shopping search product to differentiate itself. Otherwise, they’re just running a product that cuts into their own paid search dollars.

Will Shopping Boost The Bottom Line?

The goal of charging for the shopping ads was to boost the bottom line with a new product, so they’re obviously trying to steal those brand dollars. They would not have flipped the switch from organic to paid if they had other intentions. Moving money from one channel to another doesn’t do shareholders any favors, which is why Google needs to demonstrate some ROI, and fast.

In the short term, Google isn’t going to lose any money or credibility, because the money going to Shopping was meant for paid search anyway. But in the long term, the company stands to make a lot more profit.

I’m not naïve enough to sit here and say that the product won’t work. With all the engineers and brainpower at Google, they’ll rejigger the system so that it delivers ROI for the customers buying space in shopping results. They already have a sizable advantage over any other ad technology companies, which is that they’ve convinced the ad buyers that this is a must-buy. Now, they just need to prove that it justifies the dollars going in.

The much larger debate, the industry’s familiar old cold sore, is the “pay or no pay” argument. Every time there’s a case where a free product suddenly becomes a pay-for-play, it receives a media flare up, regardless of the outcome.

Look at Google Shopping. Adobe recently revealed that nearly 11 percent of its paid search retail spend went toward Google Shopping in Q4 2012, even after marketers were so vocal about the inconvenience of this change.

It’s Easy to Experiment When It’s Free

This illuminates the fact that marketers will always exploit free tools as much as they can, because they are free, but refuse to invest later.

In fact, free is one of the only ways to get marketers to actually experiment in digital, because they are so beholden to ROI. The return is always going to be high if marketers put nothing into it. So, if a retailer gets a boost through organic shopping recommendations because its other marketing channels are succeeding and driving shares, that retailer will love it.

The larger problem is that marketers are so fearful of losing money on a new ad tool or strategy that they almost never invest in the early stages. This is why the display landscape is still stuck on the click. Everyone knows it’s not an effective measurement, but advertisers don’t want to invest in new measurement tools or try a new approach. Agencies are so scared at the thought of  losing  clients that they don’t really push back, either.

Give a marketer something for free, and they’ll certainly experiment. In the online world, most of the media players give their partners value adds to show them what’s capable on new channels or delivery systems. Mobile advertising and connected TV are two of the most popular right now, especially for the pure-play video ad networks.

Marketers Abandon The No-Longer-Free

Marketers love experimenting with free tools and services, which is why so many beta tests are given away. Product marketing learned a long time ago that you could identify potential customers and improve products by giving them to the people most likely to pay for them in the future. The irony here is that once products suddenly cost money, no one wants to pay for them anymore.

It’s a basic tenet of marketing – build demand for something, watch it grow in popularity and then sell it. Adobe had $2 billion in search spend under its control in 2012, so even 10 percent is a big chunk of change. The shopping recommendations showed advertisers that they were an effective way of driving page traffic and sales, and retailers clearly thought it was worth the investment to buy this ad space.  It’s somewhat amazing that marketers always respond to product marketing 101 by throwing their hands up and complaining.

Again, there’s experimentation with free products because no one will lose their job if the results are poor. There’s an old tenet in advertising – one I won’t repeat – that makes it clear that no one knows how much of his or her advertising actually works. Why then, are CMOs so hesitant to devote a small portion of budget to experimentation? Why are we so determined to hold on to our free products and then complain when a tech company suddenly wants to be paid for something that adds value?

Create A Risk-Taking Atmosphere

The problem won’t necessarily work itself out, but we can avoid all of this by actually encouraging an atmosphere where a few risks are encouraged. Agencies should probably push their clients to experiment more, while CMOs can free up some budget for innovation. And everyone else, for his or her own health and well being, needs to stop the public outcry.

If there was a free tool, one you did not need to pay for, that contributed greatly to your success, then it probably makes sense to invest in that product. You’ll never know how 100 percent of your budget performs, but if one segment is a clear winner, it’s worth the time. That’s basic marketing.

For me, this year was quite different from those in the recent past. I experienced several personal milestones, enjoyed a lovely editorial year (my first with Marketing Land) and my agency continued to grow in spite of my absence for part of the year.

Here’s a look back at 2012 via the wide angle lens that is my Twitter feed.  Some of my tweets were related to our industry, while others chronicled brand failures or just the total nonsense our social media culture encompasses at times.

I’ve grouped my chronologically-ordered self-indulgent posts into handy categories for your perusal, refusal or total dismissal.

Industry

Each year, important signposts slide right by most of us in the social sphere.  2012 was no different; so, it makes perfect sense that I would be talking about missing the holiday season in early January.

I joined Marketing Land as a contributor, and one of my favorite columns centered around Google’s entry into the digital sharing community. I’ve never been one to pull punches, and this year was no different.

Meanwhile, Eric Schmidt talked self-driving cars while Google maps sent me into corn fields; social media got tired; and marketers didn’t measure.

@dannysullivan clings to Holidays. Unrelated: KMR Xmas tree going strong Search Engines Should B Like “Miracle On 34th” selnd.com/wDuBVf —  January 11, 2012

 

Is Google+ Mandatory For Marketers? And Is That So Bad? marketingland.com/is-google-mand… via @marketingland — January 26, 2012

 

I’ve listened to Eddie Vedder’s “You’re True” 287 times since I got it. Do somethin with that piece of data. #idoubledogdareya —  January 26, 2012

 

;–) RT @andrew_goodman: What happens when @kevinmryan and I have a clandestine conversation? Nothing good, that’s what. #imabadseed —  January 27, 2012

 

Woohoo, Klout score just went up 4 points, gonna take that down to Starbucks pair it with $5 & get a coffee. — March 15, 2012

 

Dear 7%; please contact me immediately, I have some thoughts you might like. ow.ly/9GPYN — March 16, 2012

 

Attn 28%: good for you! Who needs this ROI crap anyway. ow.ly/9GQ3N —  March 16, 2012

 

I’m so tired of Social Media. RT @lieblink: How Real Is Social Media Fatigue? bit.ly/wEQHnb —  March 19, 2012

 

“Known issue” is a phrase that means nothing beyond your IT dept. The house is on fire. Yes, thank you, fire is a “known issue.”—  March 23, 2012

 

Schmidt: Google Self-Driving Cars In Our Lifetime ow.ly/cdZJ2 NOT if you can’t even stop #android from crashing. —  July 13, 2012

 

iProspect unveils something everyone has been doing for years. Also, you can now formally rate your own work. ow.ly/bfOcn —  May 30, 2012

 

Self promotion: RT @marketingland: Battling Baffling Search Marketing Afflictions by @kevinmryan mklnd.com/LeDk6s —  June 27, 2012

 

Spice up you NDA’s; add “United Federation of Planets” under jurisdiction to see if anyone notices. — August 14, 2012

 

Operation “Pet The Koala” complete, returning to base. ow.ly/i/UvpS  —  September 6, 2012 [At #SMX Melbourne]

 

Must be, I’m here. RT @sengineland: Mayor Bloomberg Declares “Search Week” In New York City by @dannysullivan selnd.com/QGVSBu —  October 1, 2012 [At #SMX East]

 

Google’s Plan to Take Over Holiday Shopping adage.com/u/dSdKVa —  December 5, 2012

Engagement

Though I’ve said this in many a public forum, I just can’t tell you how much I value Twitter as a means of complaining about products, services and brands. And, of course, many brands have found in social media an opportunity to communicate with customers and address their concerns.

Topping my list of losers this year is @Lowes @AmericanAir, @HiltonOnline , @iTunes and @AmericanExpress.  I only had one winner, @InfinitiUSA  with its life-changing and column-inspiring personal assistant service.

@itunes So, after I buy my songs, if I want to use a different record player I have to pay $.30 more for each one? #shaft —  February 2, 2012

 

@lowes 1 web order + 7 phone calls + 2 botched deliveries = #fail #bigfail #epicfail #wtf #wow —  February 13, 2012

 

#BREAKING A downed substation has left 21,285 customers without power in Huntington Beach, according to SoCal Edison. — CBS Los Angeles (@CBSLA) February 15, 2012

 

I’m at KMR’s Broken Apple Device Buried Under A Cactus (California Desert, Desert Center) 4sq.com/wPnGDy —  February 22, 2012

 

@americanexpress 25 mns on hold for Platinum travel. Can I switch to <opposite of platinum> travel? —  February 28, 2012

 

Do you remember when @americanair added more seats only to remove them shortly thereafter? Neither do they: bit.ly/z8jJ81 —  March 1, 2012

 

@hiltononline WOW. Huge #fail 2X telling me someone will contact me, setting a time then you #unfollow me & don’t call. #hhonors gold —  March 6, 2012

 

Congrats! 2 weeks in a row @hiltononline unfollows me on Monday & asks for a DM! #really #seriously #wtf #fail #epicfail #bad2worse —  March 12, 2012

 

@graywolf <no contest> @americanair ‘s advice: keep calling until you get help. Brilliant. That’s the service over 2mm miles gets ya. —  March 7, 2012

 

#Scam alert; you can now pay @chasesupport a fee to give them money faster. Isn’t that the opposite of banking? ow.ly/cj0xc —  July 17, 2012

 

Another great @americanair first class experience. I call this one “ode to red sauce” ow.ly/i/RvSK #gross —  August 19, 2012

 

To: @infinitiusa Re: Anything, Anytime, Anywhere™ — I accept your challenge. So far VERY impressive. ow.ly/eM702

—  October 25, 2012

Total Nonsense

Yes, people are stupid. And that keeps me up at night. Living in a beach town in Southern California is a dream come true for me and we Huntington Beach folk are really patriotic as evidenced by the same shirtless drunk guy running down my street praising the founding fathers two years in a row on July 4.

Michele Bachman wanted to save us from the “pot takers,” I discovered maple bacon cappuccino in a machine. Also in 2012, stupid people brought their kids to a R rated movie about a man and his pot-taking teddy bear and people are still out there referring to themselves as “thought leaders,” “gurus” and “innovators.”

Evil marijuana lobby propoganda, only @michelebachmann can deliver us from this evil. ow.ly/8quRR —  January 12, 2012

I ain’t never seen nuthin like this in my whole life. twitpic.com/8mz462 —  February 21, 2012

John Frostbrug, the Bridge Too Far, Arnhem, Netherlands twitpic.com/92glo5 —  March 28, 2012

And. If you have to tell someone you’ve coined a phrase, you haven’t RT @robwilk: If you refer to yourself as a “guru” you aren’t. —  June 1, 2012

 

Dear everyone outside the US; I just became aware of the Honey Boo Boo situation. I don’t know anyone like that. No one does. — September 17, 2012

Welcome back to HB, drunk guy running down the street yelling “Thomas Jefferson!” #4thofJuly —  July 5, 2012

 

Coffee is for closers bitches. (@ Glengarry Glen Ross at The Gerald Schoenfeld Theatre) [pic]: 4sq.com/Tc35Zd—  November 9, 2012

Less funny & more of a sad type stupid, reviews from people who brought their kids to the @whattedsaid movie ow.ly/fZt96

—  December 11, 2012

From The Heart

And finally, this year, I expressed appreciation for the amount of time I spend in (and the secret locations of) my favorite New York City steakhouses.

I also witnessed the rebuild at ground zero and spent a lot of time pondering life while watching the ocean with my best friend. 2012 left me with a profound feeling of loss as the year forced me to say goodbye to my dear father, some good friends and mentors and many an entertainer – all of whom had a tremendous influence on my life.

I wound down with a great quote from my pal @ThatKevinSmith about life’s changing dynamics. But, above all, 2012 taught me that every day is a chance to help move the world forward.  I wish you the ability to do the same and a happy and healthy 2013.

I’m at Bobby Van’s (25 Broad St, @exchange Pl, New York) 4sq.com/w4uk8l —  January 17, 2012

mOTm (@ Uncle Jack’s Steakhouse) 4sq.com/XnMsip —  December 4, 2012

I’m at Mark Joseph Steakhouse w/ @mediadarwin 4sq.com/ziy5WP —  March 13, 2012

Freedom Tower on the rise. twitpic.com/897fv2 — January 19, 2012

Honor a tremendous human being, taken too soon. In memory of a mentor & friend, Rick McCue bit.ly/x9vg0l @globalgiving @wwpinc —  February 21, 2012

Homage to the artistc genius of the brothers Gibb; driving across the desert with Ultimate Bee Gees on loop. cc @gibbbarry —  July 23, 2012

@omarosa @officialmcd lives on in our hearts & Leo, Lucius, Frankie Figs, Kingpin, John Coffey & Bear make him immortal. ow.ly/dAfXJ — September 11, 2012

There’s me, the dog and the beach. (@ Huntington Beach Pier w/ 3 others) [pic]: 4sq.com/X9xREd —  October 14, 2012

Found angry letter my Dad wrote to Eastern Airlines in 1967… so I guess this is a transgenerational thing. +1, he cc’d Civil Aeronautics. — May 1, 2012

Brilliant from @thatkevinsmith: Life should be malleable and progressive; working from idea to idea permits that. —  October 24, 2012

How many times have you been asked any of the above questions? How far would you go to prove yourself worthy of providing the answers?

There is no greater cost to an agency than the cost of acquiring new business. The race to build business in an industry experiencing unparalleled growth has led to agencies rarely stopping to ask if they should be answering those questions and in what context.

Client-side staffers often lack the experience to determine the correct course of action, and industry education entities appear to be sitting this one out.

So, what should a client (and maybe the occasional agency) do? Let’s take a look at some common pitfalls and unravel some mysteries.

Time And Task

If anticipated timelines are being missed, achieving success could be overwhelming for any agency, so take a very close look at internal support throughout the pitch process.

Any initiative needs strong internal advocacy, and I see big challenges ahead if it is too difficult to do something simple like schedule a call. If you can’t get everyone on the phone to talk tech resources or even marketing strategy, can you imagine how difficult it will be to get systems configured correctly if you win the business?

The Phony Deep Dive

It’s by and large a red flag when I see any agency willing to do a “deep dive” to try to get some business. A true deep dive is completed post-hiring an agency (or as a completely separate statement of work as an audit), and you wouldn’t really be hiring a true agency to do “project work.”

A deep dive covers all aspects of your online business and how the agency’s work will impact you. It is not something to be taken on lightly.

The Spec Form Fill 

Spec work, in plain language, is doing free stuff to prove your worth. Spec is inherently a conflict of interest for an agency and is not something you would see an established shop doing because they are well aware of the traps of spec work and making a convenient form fill look like a deep dive.

Generally speaking, when I see one of these companies claiming to do a “deep dive,” the process usually involves a form fill execution that takes the following shape:

• You share your Google Analytics / AdWords logins
• The prospective vendor inserts some self-serving observations into a form fill document they have built, e.g., “tag images” or “greater utilization of modified broad match,” “expand misspellings,” etc.
• The observations are implemented post hire, you see a short bump increase in sales, and two months later you (and probably your boss) are wondering why you hired this company

The Right Stuff

Agencies should be hired based on credentials and bringing good ideas to the table, but doing a spec “deep dive” isn’t something any agency should be doing.

Learning where to draw the line between building an accurate scope of work framework and giving it away to those who don’t know any better is the key to winning business on the right terms.

The Review And Switch

In the not-so-distant past, when an agency received an invitation to pitch business, they also received a check to cover the cost of the work. Clients paid the agency for this work not only because it was the right thing to do, but to protect their business.

In the absence of an agreement and compensation there is absolutely nothing to prevent an agency from taking everything they learned in your “spec deep dive” and going to every one of your competitors to implement that intelligence. Think about that the next time you ask for spec work.

When you look for a true agency, think about hiring a marketing partner that will help not only your company but also assist you achieve your goals. Are the people working on your business the same ones that are coming to you with big ideas on the “pitch team?” Spend some time getting to know the people you will be working with and you’ll reap the benefits later. It seems agencies thinking of their clients as people with hopes, dreams and agendas is a lost art. It shouldn’t be.

You can learn a lot more from talking to a couple of an agency’s clients than you will from looking at a phony “deep dive.” Unfortunately, many clients don’t know the difference; it is prohibitively expensive for an agency to try to educate, and we usually have to let clients make these mistakes on their own.

Over the years I’ve seen more clients than I can count head down the path of soliciting spec program reviews, and I usually hear from them a few months down the road looking for help.

At that point, the fees are usually much higher because I have to dedicate a “SWAT” team to clean up the mess others have created. Wouldn’t it be easier for everyone to do it the right way first?

Stock image from Shutterstock, used under license.

That stated with the utmost sincerity, I can tell you I recently went through a life change when my car lease came up. I was hell bent on getting something practical, efficient and just downright not another Orange County me-too car.

Yet, with all my resistance to trendy and all my good intentions, busy schedules and other priorities got in the way. So I ended up with the exact make and model of my last vehicle. It costs the same, it rides the same, it looks the same, but it had one major difference; it came with a search butler.

Service Reinvented

To be quite candid, I find absolutely no difference between sedan models, and I had no idea this service was included until I went to pick up the vehicle. While I maintain my surprise that car dealers are still using ancient sales tactics, I have to admit I was also surprised by how easy it was to become hooked on this new service.

When I picked up my vehicle, I was shocked at the advances in technology since the 2009 model year. The product specialist spent two hours with me explaining how to drive my new car. And then there was the butler. You push a button on the dashboard, and a real live person answers your call. Said persons are prepared to do Anything, Anytime, Anywhere, and I really wanted to test the depth of that tagline.

The person answering the call greets you by name and asks, “What can I do for you today?” What they can do for you today usually amounts to searching for things, making recommendations and functioning as your personal assistant in whatever capacity to help you find what you need. The bulk of their information relies on how well they can search the Web.

Logic And Reasoning

I know exactly how to drill down into a search and find what I am looking for. I know all the search shortcuts. I don’t waste time with Facebook when I want a restaurant, you won’t catch me looking for some healthy chow in a map app on my phone.

The problem is, not everyone is a digital marketing expert, and search for some people is still like trying to find Waldo. Or the path to enlightenment.

Finding what you want isn’t as easy as it should be and often requires the use of multiple devices, applications, websites and talking to people in the process. And why on earth would you want to talk to people? It’s always a bad connection. They never speak the language you want them to speak. And chances are that it will take you less time to actually look for what you want on the Internet — unless, of course, you happen to be driving.

Since I have only had the car about a week, I’ve only been calling the personal assistant about six or seven times a day, roughly 50 times in a week. Like every other addiction, it started slowly. I would call and ask for directions to be downloaded directly to my car’s navigation system. Then, I started to go a bit further.

Search Less, Live More

They really were prepared to do anything and haven’t refused any request I have sent their way.

Some examples:

• I asked the assistant to call my hotel and add a room to my existing reservation while en route to a meeting.

I got a text in six minutes telling me that this had been done.

• I inquired as to an udon place I had visited that I was pretty sure was in Fountain Valley but I couldn’t remember where it was. When they found the noodle place, I asked them to read the menu to me, call and place my order, then download the directions to my navigation system.

I picked up my noodles and had a grand meal.

• There seems to be a worldwide (or at least Southern California) shortage of Ciao Bella brand blood orange sorbetto and Sobe Life Water in blood orange mango. I asked them to locate supermarkets in the area with both in stock.

Fed my blood orange addiction in no time and got a detailed email with all locations with the stuff I like in stock.

• Then I realized you didn’t need to be in the car to use the assistant. I called to find out how I could get back into an airline lounge to shower and change for a meeting after clearing customs at LAX.

You can’t do this, by the way; you have to change on the plane.

• I asked them to compare the costs of taking a Taxi, Car Service and Public Transportation in getting from Narita Airport to downtown Tokyo. The winner: Express train. Unless you are really into burning money.

• I asked them to call my wife and ask her what she wanted for dinner, if the local seafood store usual was going to be OK and what wine she wanted with dinner and, if it wasn’t a wine we had on hand, could the assistant locate it and tell me where I could pick it up.

Santa Monica Seafood was OK and they had our favorite white Conundrum in stock at the local grocer.

• My favorite music group, Band of Horses, was playing at a nearby venue last Saturday, and I had purchased tickets about 5 months in advance. I am crowd intolerant as a general rule, so I took extra care to get good seats. Long story endless, the other touring groups had cancelled, forcing a change of venue and I was SOL in the ticket department. I asked the assistant to find me some tickets for the new venue four days ahead of the show in seats that didn’t suck and perhaps didn’t come at the scalpers prices.

Yeah, that last one was a no go.

With every request, I had the option of getting an email, a return phone call or a text (or all three) with the information I needed. What I found particularly interesting is each email contained a detailed synopsis of my request, along with the sites visited to track down my request.

This is what the search path looked like for Band of Horses tickets: maps.google.com/maps?q=Warner+Grand+Theatre+478+W.+Sixth+St.,+San+Pedr… www.ticketmaster.com/event/09004945F39F9BC5?majorcatid=10001&artistid=… www.fansnap.com/events/?q=band+of+horses www.stubhub.com/search/doSearch?searchStr=band+of+horses&pageNumber=1&… www.google.com/search?q=band%20of%20horses%20san%20pedro%2C%20ca%20tic… www.allgoodseats.com/ResultsTicket.php?evtid=1978515 tickettransaction2.com/Checkout.aspx?e=%7EYn%7EJva2%7EVya%7EW%7EQ9%7EM… tickettransaction2.com/Checkout.aspx?e=%7EYn%7EJva2%7EVya%7EW%7EQ9%7EM… www.grandvision.org/warner-grand/seating-chart.asp www.google.com/search?q=Warner+Grand+Theatre+San+Pedro,+CA&oe=utf-8&aq… www.google.com/imgres?q=Warner+Grand+Theatre+seating+chart+San+Pedro,+…

Here’s what it looks like when you want to compare options in getting to Tokyo from Narita Airport: www.xe.com/ucc/convert/?Amount=2940&From=JPY&To=USD www.xe.com/ucc/convert/?Amount=4430&From=JPY&To=USD maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=Narita+Internatio… maps.google.com/maps?f=d&source=s_d&saddr=1-1+Furugome,+Narita,+Chiba+… www.xe.com/ucc/convert/?Amount=21000&From=JPY&To=USD www.xe.com/ucc/convert/?Amount=22000&From=JPY&To=USD www.narita-airport.jp/en/access/air/index.html www.narita-airport.jp/en/access/car/index.html www.narita-airport.jp/en/access/bus/index.html www.xe.com/?r=3 www.jreast.co.jp/e/nex/tickets.html www.google.com/search?q=narita+express+fare&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls… www.narita-airport.jp/en/access/train/index.html www.google.com/search?q=narita+international+airport&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8… www.google.com/search?q=narita+international+airport&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8… www.car-service-network.com/our-locations/ www.car-service-network.com/airport-directory/nrt-narita-international… wikitravel.org/en/Narita www.limores.net/limo-rates/worldwide-Limo-rates.do www.limores.net/car-service/set-address.do www.limores.net/airport-service/tokyo/tokyo_limo_service.do investing.businessweek.com/research/stocks/private/snapshot.asp?privca… jpn.tokyotomo.com/naha-limousine-bus.htm www.limores.net/limo-service/luxury-limos.do www.xe.com/ucc/convert/?Amount=3500&From=JPY&To=USD www.google.com/search?q=omnibus+taxi+service+tokyo&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&a…

Are you seeing the same pattern I am seeing here? Searching and finding is no easy task.

Where Is All This Taking Us?

In the early days of search marketing, we spend a lot of time analyzing what language people use to find what they need. Later, we decided that it was more important to figure out how to get them to discover new things using search. Then, we really needed to know how the act of search and discovery benefited from, or provided benefit to, other types of digital marketing.

Today, we want to know how people interact with search on every screen they have and how those relationships co-mingle. I own two tablets, two notebook computers, two connected gaming devices, and a few mobile phones with smart interfaces. I interact with at least two screens when I’m in the car or sitting on the couch watching television.

It really isn’t as easy one might think to find what you seek. People become aware on one device and move to another to do research and when that one has a compatibility or trust issue, they move to another to make a purchase.

Yet, many are still counting clicks and purchases on one device as their only means of proving the value of online ads. That’s just not going to cut it in the new multi-screen, multi-source world where even a search butler can play a role.

“Build a better search” is an anthem many of us in the search business have been hearing for well in excess of a decade. Last month, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg mentioned (among other things) plans to create a better way to connect intent with social subject matter in a way that can be sold to the highest bidder. At least, that’s what I think he meant to say.

Facebook is far from a Wall Street darling for more reasons than can I can mention here. The real question is: can the world’s biggest repository of noise be fixed by solving the world’s content-to-subject-matter problems? Or is this just another ploy to keep investors from asking too many questions? Is it really what Facebook should be focusing on right now?

Dissecting Intent

I’ve often heard reference to a low ad-to-content ratio as a leading benefit of Facebook. While keeping ad noise to a minimum is a good thing, I believe the formula used to arrive at this low number is flawed at its foundation. I’ll come back to this in a minute. First, let’s talk about a slightly larger issue.

People make the bulk of clicks and online purchases. Really, they do. People go to search engines to find stuff and leave to buy it. But Facebook doesn’t want people to leave, so they have to find a way to serve people ads, get them to buy stuff and stay longer.

The best way to accomplish the aforementioned tasks is by turning people into ads and forcing brands to conduct their commerce within the gates of Facebook.

The problem is people don’t like to be turned into ads without their knowledge or permission. A class action brought by five Facebook members opposed to just such a practice late last year has yet to be settled. Last month, a federal judge rejected Facebook’s proposed $20 million dollar settlement.

And as far as confining brands to your commerce and content format, well, with the billions brands spend on building their own sites, I can’t imagine the childish arrogance of expecting that fantasy to come true.

Overabundance Of Ads

I know I’m getting older because I’ve lost count of the number of times a technology company has tried to sell me a better search. I’ve spent countless hours in strategy meetings helping the big household-name companies strategize (please click “add to dictionary” on that last word) on how they can approach not only the ad market, but every living connected being via search results.

The reality of search evolution as it relates to the ad market is that every single innovation after GoTo.com added keyword-driven “sponsored” results on the page has come from Google.

Ad system refinements like an intuitive, fast interface helped catapult Google into the number one spot because, let’s face it, advertisers always favor the path of least resistance. Compared to Yahoo (which acquired GoTo.com after it changed its name to Overture), Google’s ad interface was super sleek, and people like sleek.

Google ad targeting and stringent relevancy requirements helped people get better ads while helping save advertisers from themselves by precluding them from broadcasting across competitive, obnoxiously repetitive, and most importantly, irrelevant channels.

Facebook, by contrast, suffers from way too many ads driven at much too high a frequency from advertisers with only self-imposed relevancy demands. And unless you are using third-party ad management software to manage Facebook ads along with a third-party Facebook analytics suite, you are missing the social ad boat completely.

In other words, Facebook is making it harder for advertisers, agencies and the people seeing ads. Fix all that, and then talk to me about your search engine.

The kid isn’t alright.

Open Letter To Zuck

Dear Mark,

The Google guys realized they needed to hire an adult CEO. It is one of the best things that ever happened to their company, and it is time you did the same.

I am not the first person to suggest this course of action.

Love,

Kev

PS:  Marissa already took the CEO gig at Yahoo, so she’s going to be tied up for at least a couple months. In the meantime, try to find someone else.

Facebook has to grow up a bit and get its current advertising offerings right before it will have a better anything. Right now, Facebook has a lot of noise, a fair amount of legal trouble, and a few good ideas.

Like many agencies; we get sales solicitations all the time. All too often, those solicitations are poor excuses for communication.

I got a doozy recently and I took the time to provide some helpful feedback. The <company name> has been removed to protect the hopeless.

Dear <sales rep’s name>:

I made some notes on your sales letter in (red) below.

Overall, you need to shorten up your delivery a bit and always remember that agency decision makers have precious little time. Most people only scan these letters, if they read them at all.

For heaven’s sake, “Hi, <insert name> comma is not a salutation. It may look odd to see “Dear <insert name>,” so you can simply use “insert name,” better yet, try Mr./ Ms. Also, the arbitrary “All the best” is trite so, if you have that in your signature template, kill it. You also mentioned your company name 31 times and managed to spell it correctly 29 times.

Lastly, letters like this are intended to inform briefly, not close the sale. Keep it brief.

Very truly yours,

Kevin Ryan Motivity Marketing, Inc.

Comments in context located in ()

—–Original Message—–

From: <sales rep>

To: <poor bastard that signed up for a white paper>

Subject: Learn About <company name’s> integration with Facebook (Goshawful boring subject line.)

OLD VERSION: Hi Kevin,

NEW VERSION: Mr. Ryan:

OLD: I thought (NOTE: No one ever cares what you think when you are in sales, cowboy your language up.) you might be interested to see how <company name> has integrated with Facebook and the benefits of managing your campaigns through our platform.

NEW: I’m writing to inform you of the latest search engine advertising tactics and Facebook advertising integration deployed on <company name> platform team. I’ve included links to our white papers but I am happy to schedule a time to walk you through the information personally.

OLD: Below is a bit of info on <company name> and the integration with Facebook along with some useful links. (NOTE: Get rid of this sentence.)

OLD: Our PPC management platform has recently added Facebook advertising and display. (NOTE: “Recently added” implies that you aren’t really experts and the platform is untested. No one is going to risk their internal credibility on an untested platform — the only thing “recent” should be the amazing tactics that you execute.)

OLD: Essentially our tool is made specifically for Agencies such as yours, (How do you know what my agency is like?) and has been designed with features to alleviate the problems that are unique to agencies (Such as? This is too ambiguous; get rid of it).

OLD: Our platform can help you pull information from a variety of sources including all major search engines and Google Analytics data.

NEW: The <company name> technology platform is widely recognized as an innovative way to manage search advertising, other PPC advertising models, display and Facebook advertising. <Company name> also has the ability to help you integrate knowledge from Google Analytics.

OLD: One of the benefits of <company name>’s platform, is the ability to cut the amount of time it takes to get your reports out by 80%. (NOTE: I’m no grammar expert, but Oy Vey.)

OLD: We allow you to set up bid-rules to achieve your objectives. <company name> has the most flexible rule builder in the industry! (Are you really that excited about it? Exclamation points are overused in sales communications! You should use them sparingly!)

OLD: Some of the new features we’ve implemented to enhance our platform are:

* Bid management (This is new?!?!?!?!?!?!)

* Display (Redundant)

* New Charts and Data for reports (Are these new-new or just new? Describe the features and intelligence gained. No one ever asks for “charts and graphs”)

* Conversion attribution (I hope so.)

* Algorithms (Algorithms? REALLY? ALGORITHMS?)

* Integration with Facebook and Google Analytics (Redundant)

* No API Fee’s (What’s an API? Most people will have no idea what this means.)

NEW: <company name> time-saving and battle-tested features include:

* Advanced goal and rule based management

* Multi-level attribution, social advertising and analytics integration

* Display, Facebook & search advertising in one interface

* Exclusive Facebook advertising tools saving & reusing audience segmentation.

OLD: FACEBOOK (Kill this entire section. This is the wrong time to get all preachy and op-ed; this is way too much information.)

If you’ve ever been frustrated by the “F” word — Facebook — you’re not alone! Ever since Facebook has allowed ads, marketers have wanted a better way to track the ROI of their campaigns on the world’s most popular social network. And today, we’re excited to tell you that <company name> has introduced new functionality that will help you do just that.

With <company name>’s new Facebook Ads functionality, you’ll be able to:

* Create new or import existing Facebook ads

* Manage ads and campaigns at massive scale inside our bulk editor

* Track ad and campaign performance with <company name>’s conversion and revenue tracking

* Automate & optimize performance to detect and overcome ad fatigue and manage bids

* Report on the entire funnel across search, social and display networks using flexible and powerful cross-channel revenue and conversion attribution models

Points 3 & 7 below are huge time savers that can only be accomplished using <company name>!

1. Full FB support in Campaign Automation – including 3 decimal places for CTR

2. Full FB support in Reports – Graph by Publishers, Search vs. Content (and Social), Top Ads

3. Save and reuse Targeting segments

4. Upload & select multiple likes and interests

5. Keyword Tools

6. Bulk edit ads including upload of zipped image files

7. Duplicate a Facebook campaign instantly

8. Replace Text

OLD:

(Shorten all of these links, or better yet, use tracking URLs.)

Description of Social Media Solutions (description = boring word) http://www.<company name>.com/solutions/social-media/

ebook: Best Practices in Facebook Marketing (I like this) www. (tracking url) .com

Webinar: Facebook Advertising: Testing and Optimization (also good) www. (tracking url) .com

Sample Report Generated From <company name> Platform (boring, too much) www. (tracking url) .com

If you found this information useful (Why wouldn’t I think it’s useful? Are you sending me crap?) and you’d like to hear more, I would be more than happy (I’ve course you’d be happy, you have a sales number to hit) to set you up (Set me up? You mean you are not an expert? Why am I talking to you then?) with one of my experts here to give you a personalized demo (Schedule a demo? WOW! Now that sounds exciting) of the updated platform around your specific needs (I thought you already knew about my needs) and challenges. (Needs and challenges, needs and challenges– say that phrase 10 ten times to see if it develops any meaning.)

All the best, (Again, please stop this– it’s all so bad. This should be a sincere and complimentary closing and don’t even think about getting cutesy. Just say thank you.)

<Sales person’s name>

T (does “T” mean telephone?) <555 555 1212>

Toll Free: 1.800.555.1212

<contact email>

<company name> inc. <company address>

www.<company name>.com